Funny Quotes

Look at me, I started with nothing and worked my way into exstream poverty.
I started with nothing, and I've still got most of it left.
All of us have moments of courage to test us. Trouble is I usualy fail.
I like long walks, espesialy when there take by people who annoy me.
Save a small bit of money every week and at the end of the year you'l be suprised how little you have.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them!
You need to stay in shape. My grandmother, started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. Shes 93 today and we don't know were the hell she is.
If at first you don't sucsead, destroy all evidance you tried.
When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in dougt mumble.
Be true to your teeth and they wont be false to you.
A friend in need is a friend to avoid.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him.
Only 1 man in 1000 is a leader of men. the other 999 follow women.
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they eat jelly beans.
Women will never be as sucsesful as men because they don't have wives to advise them.
The good thing about being a pessimist, is that you are always right or are pleasently suprised.
Apparently women have better verbal skills than men. Well: duh     :)