It was may girlfriends birthday yesterday. I got her a cutlery set cutlery set without the spoons or knives, oh well its the fork that counts.
About a month before my grandfather died he covered his back in lard. after that he went down hill very quickly.
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped him?
Nothing he just let out a little wine.
Why can't a bike stand up by its self?
Its two tired.
Why don't blind people sky dive?
It scares the heck out of the dogs.
A man walked down a street and saw a boy with some bacon on his head. Why have you got bacon on your head little boy? asked the man.
"I'm not a boy" he replied "I'm a fork.
why does a a farmer look out of his window in the morning?
because like most people he can't see through his wall.
Why do businessmen carry umbrellas?
Because umbrellas can't carry businessmen.
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